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No

Even though it comprises no more than two letters and one syllable, ‘no’ ranks among the most punishing words in the English language. Contained in this very tiny word is a universe of potential meanings. When we run away from the possibility of being told “no”, we are often running away from something entirely different. […]

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How to Complain

As weird as it sounds, complaining is an art form. Just as we can appreciate the difference between a landscape painting of William Blake and a painting of a landscape featuring a sun (always confusingly wearing sunglasses) by our 6 year old niece; we can likewise appreciate the difference between a person who complains and […]

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How Not To Be a Drainer

The drainer is a terrorist, holding someone hostage in conversation. It is an unfortunate reality that when you meet new people, there are few perceptible signs before speaking to them that they are a drainer. Maybe you saw people they were talking to eye off the exit, or observed exasperated shrugs of the shoulders, perhaps […]

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Flattery & Being a Good Friend

One of the essential qualities of a good friend is that they are honest. But, it is a particular kind of honesty, an honesty that respects our integrity and dignity as fellow human beings. Meaning, being prepared to say something that hurts, but not because it hurts. Yet one of the hallmarks of our society […]

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On Being Heard

We lash out because we haven’t been listened to, not because we’ve been listened to too much. At the end of the day, sometimes what we really need is not for someone to agree with us, or to give us advice, but simply to hear us; to validate our feelings, to recognise our inner turmoil, […]

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On First Dates & Asking the Right Questions

While a first date may be considered successful if your partner considers you witty, charming, intelligent, and despite your earnest protests to the contrary, good looking; the most important indicator of a successful first date is connection. It is unfortunately the case that much of our lives are – to perhaps too great an extent […]

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Talking to Strangers

It may seem counterintuitive, but talking to strangers about our deeper issues offers an opportunity to be candid and honest in ways we are unable with those whom we know well. Unlike friends or families, beyond first impressions, strangers do not have any idea about who we are, how we should act, or the types […]

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Jiddu Krishnamurti On Images & Relationships

‘All our relationships are really imaginary’, writes Krishnamurti in his collection of talks titled Freedom from the Known. ‘That is’, he continues, they are ‘based on an image formed by thought’. According to Krishnamurti, we rarely see each other as we are now. We have memories of what someone likes and dislikes, things they have […]

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