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Posted on March 17, 2022 Leave a Comment
Seen for what it is, small talk is imprisonment of false bonhomie and an utter failure of communication. But, seen for what it could be, small talk is an opportunity to step beyond the banal and into the deepest and most intimate realms of another’s mind. But such an imperative can be overwhelmingly intimidating. As […]
Posted on October 13, 2021 Leave a Comment
Even though it comprises no more than two letters and one syllable, ‘no’ ranks among the most punishing words in the English language. Contained in this very tiny word is a universe of potential meanings. When we run away from the possibility of being told “no”, we are often running away from something entirely different. […]
Posted on September 28, 2021 Leave a Comment
As weird as it sounds, complaining is an art form. Just as we can appreciate the difference between a landscape painting of William Blake and a painting of a landscape featuring a sun (always confusingly wearing sunglasses) by our 6 year old niece; we can likewise appreciate the difference between a person who complains and […]
Posted on September 26, 2021 Leave a Comment
The drainer is a terrorist, holding someone hostage in conversation. It is an unfortunate reality that when you meet new people, there are few perceptible signs before speaking to them that they are a drainer. Maybe you saw people they were talking to eye off the exit, or observed exasperated shrugs of the shoulders, perhaps […]
Posted on September 16, 2021 Leave a Comment
One of the essential qualities of a good friend is that they are honest. But, it is a particular kind of honesty, an honesty that respects our integrity and dignity as fellow human beings. Meaning, being prepared to say something that hurts, but not because it hurts. Yet one of the hallmarks of our society […]
Posted on September 6, 2021 Leave a Comment
We lash out because we haven’t been listened to, not because we’ve been listened to too much. At the end of the day, sometimes what we really need is not for someone to agree with us, or to give us advice, but simply to hear us; to validate our feelings, to recognise our inner turmoil, […]
Posted on April 13, 2021 Leave a Comment
While a first date may be considered successful if your partner considers you witty, charming, intelligent, and despite your earnest protests to the contrary, good looking; the most important indicator of a successful first date is connection. It is unfortunately the case that much of our lives are – to perhaps too great an extent […]
Posted on March 12, 2021 Leave a Comment
It may seem counterintuitive, but talking to strangers about our deeper issues offers an opportunity to be candid and honest in ways we are unable with those whom we know well. Unlike friends or families, beyond first impressions, strangers do not have any idea about who we are, how we should act, or the types […]
Posted on February 23, 2021 Leave a Comment
‘All our relationships are really imaginary’, writes Krishnamurti in his collection of talks titled Freedom from the Known. ‘That is’, he continues, they are ‘based on an image formed by thought’. According to Krishnamurti, we rarely see each other as we are now. We have memories of what someone likes and dislikes, things they have […]
Proper Candor 